Preparing for King Baby #6 & Birth Fear {36 Weeks}

posted in: Marriage, Motherhood, Womanhood | 1

I’m not sure where this pregnancy has gone. Obviously time flies when you’re having fun…and raising five little people. I have been nothing but thankful for a healthy and easy pregnancy! We found out about Baby #6 last June and I am now looking at the calendar for this June. Slightly crazy, super exciting, and definitely nerve-racking all at the same time.

The pregnancy didn’t really hit me until 30 weeks when my belly started getting bigger. Then with the growing hips came the growing emotions, list of hopeful to-dos and reliving of last year’s labor/delivery/move/transition {i.e. birth fear}.

By the sixth baby it doesn’t seem like I have much to do, but the responsibility of adding a new little one to our life never lessens. I have washed all the tiny clothes, pulled out the swing, and even enjoyed an incredible baby shower. As I look at the calendar and see about four weeks left, I want to use the time wisely. If you have followed my writings since the blog before this one, I typically take about four weeks maternity leave after each baby. That means I intentionally protect the first four weeks of time after the addition of a new baby to our family. I aim to simplify our schedule, prepare some meals and plan in ways for everyone to rest so that bringing home a new baby is enjoyable for our entire family. Obviously I have learned more with each new addition and some of those postpartum windows have looked better than others, but this time around we are thankful to be moving in that direction.

With our fifth baby, maternity leave wasn’t an option. We were selling our home, transitioning out of the military, moving multiple times and much more just a few weeks after the baby was born. It was not ideal, created a large amount of stress and I wouldn’t hope that situation fall on others — but God had it appointed for us. And He carried us through it, showing both my husband and I many of our weaknesses and also our strengths. It definitely felt like a time of trial that God used to refine us, stretch us and encourage us in the eternal hope of Jesus.

Although I have all the physical things prepared for baby #6, God is doing more spiritual preparation than anything. I learned so much at 36 weeks in my last pregnancy that I didn’t think I would be facing such similar emotions around the exact time this pregnancy. Yet here I am, 36 weeks pregnant, and reliving a lot of fear, anxiety and doubt. In an effort to be vague I will simply say that God has allowed different situations to intersect that remind me very much of last year. Whether it has to do with how my body will do this {again}, what form of help we will receive, how my kids will respond, how our marriage will change, what life will be like, when something {or someone} might go wrong…the wanderings can be endless.

The memories of last year are fresh and easily recalled. However, with those hard memories come the memories of how God protected and provided for us the entire way and even more on the other side. Thus with each fearful thought, anxious breath or doubtful tendency comes an immediate assurance that God JUST did that work in our lives. When He needs to do it again, He will handle it the best possible way. I am a super planner, but I am strongly reminding myself that His plans are always better than mine.

I joke with my husband that I have PTSD from all that happened around the time I last gave birth. But PTSD is not the best word. Rather, I’ll openly admit that God is working on many of the same fears, same issues of trust, and same areas of control that He was working on then. It is a good work and thankfully I am wanting to learn much quicker this time (Praise the LORD).

Rejoice, thank, pray and request! A process from Philippians 4:4-7 that can be immediately applied when my heart is prone to wander. A quick mental prayer sounds like this, “Jesus tis so sweet to trust in you. Your promises are true and enough. Thank you for this season — of health, of new life, of struggle and of learning. I pray for all of the unknowns, you know them. Help me to rest, to be encouraged and to surrender all that I want to hold on to.”

It seems fitting to share this picture with Boden Ozias, whose name means Refuge, Strength of the Lord. We picked his name to characterize last year. His little life continually reminds me that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1) and of all the sweet work that the Lord has done for us.

Looking forward to updating you on the other side! As blogging slows down for this season I’ll mention that we love using Instagram stories and will continue to post over there!

With All My Love,

Johnna

What does the Bible say about fear and anxiety? 

 

 

One Response

  1. I love this, Johnna! Praying for you and Baby 6, sweet friend!! ❤️❤️

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