All week, I’ve come to the table asking God…What do you have for me? As I sit there half asleep, my thoughts make their way to the paper. Praises, prayers, pleas for energy and everything in between.
With the news full of nothing new, it is easy to get anxious. In order to get any clarity, I have to filter and re-filter everything through prayer and the Word. I have been wanting more. In an effort to not want more of the world, it is hard to know what more looks like. More Jesus, yes…but I want to see the fruit of that. I can memorize more Bible, yes, but I want opportunities to speak that life into people. More conviction, more responsibility, more change, more growth and more of God using me to make a difference. But what does that look like when I stay home with 5 kids 6 and under?
I have been studying through the book of James. Susan Heck produces amazing studies and she is such a gift to women. In the School of Tested Faith is the second one I have worked through. Her material is convicting, straightforward and helpful! I truly look forward to seeing how the Word will penetrate and pierce my life. It is often a slightly scary adventure. Just this week, I read about widows, faith, obedience and works. So many deep topics and many mornings I would sit there just wondering how I could apply any of it to my own life. I set out to just be obedient and faithful with each moment.
There was a knock on the door during Monday’s family nap time. My husband answered it, then relayed the story about the neighbor. A widow behind us who saw him on the tractor. “Wow Lord, I have been asking for a widow nearby.” Out of curiosity, I asked my husband to go next door to meet our other neighbor. He came back with “Her name is…she is a widow. I gave her your number.” I stood there laughing at my lack of faith. Two widows that are RIGHT NEXT DOOR. I don’t have to drive, I don’t have to do anything but look out my window and see opportunities to put the Word into practice.
Mid-week I praised God, rejoiced over answers and then asked for more. More conviction, more responsibility, more change, more growth and more of God using me to make a difference. The Superwoman in me wants to be everywhere at once and that can be dangerous. How can I do better with what I have? With my husband, my kids, my friends, my house, any of it. How can I make more out of everything right here?
That morning I received a text asking for a get together. I like to think I’m flexible, but keeping 5 littles somewhat joyful takes some planning. My friends say I run a pretty tight schedule so I try to balance that. Not wanting to say “No, I can’t do that, maybe next time..” I prayed through how I could make an impromptu meeting work. The day went on and there was slight rescheduling, but my hubby gladly took 4 kiddos to an event and I took my oldest in another direction for the evening.
We had time to stop by the store where I work for a bit. Then we went for ice cream and met the Mama that had been asking to meet up. My six year old son sat there for almost two hours, just listening. Sensitive words were spoken in a soft whisper, but he heard the majority of our conversation.
When we got in the car I praised his resolve. I didn’t expect silence the entire time and we did not plan to be out so late. But he was encouraged and said he held his questions. I prompted him to ask his questions then. He asked one, but went on to another topic.