Mommy Monday: When Motherhood is HARD & My Top 5 Tips

posted in: Motherhood, Womanhood | 4

I’m glad Drexel got laughs from his last post. Quite honestly, he is the one keeping our family moving in the right direction these days. He has been encouraging me to write and my response is pretty much — “I can’t think straight.” And then when I am thinking straight and things are quiet, I want to sleep or I need to call every chimney person in the city. Oh chimney, you teach me patience and grace. Between our last house and this one, I could probably tell you everything you need to know about a wood burning fireplace. I still have no idea how to start a fire, nor do I enjoy smoke in my house — so all this information really just helps me feel…mmm, pick a word, any word.

I spend most of my mornings praying for the people who live below us in this apartment. Between all of us, I am sure we sound like a herd of elephants. I can only tell the boys “STOP jumping” or “Light FEET” so many times before I feel guilty that I still have them inside. By 7:00 a.m. I have to know the game plan for the day, be it a park, the museum, cleaning or just walking the campus — because if I wait too long to decide, I freeze. I get stuck in my pajamas trying to figure out what is my next move. Obviously, moving has a a lot of “in between” stages that definitely reveal one’s character. The lists of to-dos and little extra time to do them coupled with the daily-dos (everything in my normal day) feels sort of like a stack of papers just piling up on my desk. One at a time they are slowly making their way into the imaginary “filed” section of my life, but it doesn’t look like much progress when I glance down at the work.

There are seasons like this sisters. There are times when days are long, when kids are sick, when there just isn’t enough time or ways to make things feel right. It is then when I am tempted to look at the next person or thing and expect more, maybe even demand more. Hey you, kid, “Why haven’t you learned to stop peeing in the bed?” or you, “Why are you still putting your dirty underwear with your clean ones?” Baby, “Please just sleep a little longer…” and little girl, “All that crying needs to stop.” With my head on a swivel, I’m looking around to see who will make things easier. Easier on who — well on me of course. Because Moms, we think we do it all. We know we do it all. We are often proud we do it all. But when we are tired and need a little boost, then what? Where do we run, what do we blame, who do we ask, how do we rest?

Here are my top- FIVE tips to make these hard seasons feel a little bit easier:

  1. Of course at #1 is READ YOUR BIBLE. I hope you didn’t expect this one anywhere else. First things first, go there and get fed. Even if you’re only reading one Psalm a day — just read and don’t make excuses about time. You have the time. Put something else down and pick up your Bible.
  2. Your husband — lean on him. He is there for a reason. Express yourself without word vomiting all over him. Help him understand the feelings you are fighting, your goals and what he can do to keep the team fighting strong. Don’t expect him to know all your confusing thoughts and then get mad when he is failing you — that’s your fault woman.
  3. Have a go-to friend that you can call and she will PRAY for you. Maybe even have two like I currently do. Don’t call that girl who will lead you to bash or blame your husband…avoid her. This good friend better be pointing you back to Scripture and encouraging you to press on!
  4. Filter everything going in your head. During hard (er) seasons, you’re in the fight and you need game music, pep talks and to stop carrying extra weight. Find a new worship CD, turn off that TV and get off the bench!
  5. Talk LESS & Pray MORE. When we chew on words over and over, we are tempted to think they are true. The foundation of this is taking every thought captive to obey Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). You need to be doing this all the time, but especially as you’re tempted to say something. Whether speaking to one of your kids, your husband or anyone in passing…maybe just slow down. Pray through those thoughts that want to become words. Are they true? Are they helping you move towards holiness?

I have five more tips, but want to focus on the first things first. I know this might feel like tough love, but I hope they are helpful and practical things you can start doing today! I am in the fight with you and have been striving to perfect these practices in the midst of what has been several months of moving and more. There is good that comes from enduring and growing through these times.

Bonding with my baby doll!

With All My Love,


4 Responses

  1. Wise beyond your years. Love, Dad

  2. Beautiful!! I only have one child right now and I get sooo scared of having more sometimes when I hear stories. But I grew up with 3 others siblings and am thankful for that. I want that for my daughter. Anyways, THANK YOU for this and for being so honest and real! Beautifully written and such GODLY, BIBLICAL wisdom! You don’t see this anywhere much anymore! Glad we ran into y’all by God’s grace at IKEA! ?

    • Thank you for reading and then taking the time to comment!! We love sharing our life and thank you for the encouragement! Glad we ran into you as well. Looking forward to watching your family grow as I’m sure it will happen in His perfect timing and you will continue to do well with them!

  3. I’m not a Mom, yet….and I’m inspired by your story(ies).

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